Impulses
by Mistress Infinity
Summary: The Joker teaches Bane about impulses- something the Man Who Broke the Bat never quite managed to master on his own. Eventual Bane/Joker. Don't like, don't read. T for safety, may change later.
1. Chapter 1

Bane was not an impulsive man. He liked to be able to take the time to think things over before he acted, to know exactly what the consequences of his actions were going to be, to know why he was doing the things he was doing. He rarely, if ever, acted on impulse, and if he did, he was none-too-pleased about it. Everything was premeditated. Everything had its own reason.

But the Joker… He wondered if the _payaso _ever thought about anything before he did it. It seemed as though he simply acted, then worried about the consequences later. There was no rhyme or reason, nothing to indicate that he was even aware of the gravity of most of the things he did.

Then again, Bane supposed it fit his character. He was a clown, after all. He laughed and grinned and had his fun, no matter how sick and demented that fun may be… And Bane had to admit, he enjoyed trying to figure out what made the other man tick. He was like a puzzle that didn't have all its pieces—you put together whatever you could find, and had to try to work around the gaps, all the while wondering whether or not you were going to find the single piece that would make everything so much easier to comprehend.

But the _payaso's_ impulses were becoming harder and harder to understand, rather than easier. Every time Bane thought he had the man figured out, he seemed to throw another curveball, complicate things further… It was becoming frustrating.

"You know what I've noticed about you, Bulky? You _think_ too much. I tell you, it isn't healthy. Don't you ever just, ah… You know… Act on _impulse?_ Just… Y'know… _Do _something. Without thinking."

"No," Bane said matter-of-factly. "No, I can't say that I do. Every action has consequences, and I like to know what they are before I act."

"Oh come on, Bulky, that isn't any fun…. Haven't you ever wondered what it'd be like, to just _act_?"

Bane sighed heavily. He was getting nowhere in this discussion, he could tell that already. "I suppose you want me to make one of your damned impulse decisions."

The smirk that was permanently plastered on the Joker's lips thanks to the scarred remains of a Chelsea grin widened. "That's _exactly _what I want, Bulky." His hands disappeared into the pockets of his coat. "So, uh…. Let's say you've got yourself in…. A predicament here. You've got the entire Gotham police force chasing you down. You're at a dead end. Brick walls. What do you do?"

"Break through the walls," Bane said boredly. "I should think that would be simple enough."

"Ah. Well, yeah, of course, but, uh… You break though the wall on your left, and you find yourself in the middle of a television studio. Then what?"

"I fail to see how this scenario is relevant or even plausible…."

"But, uh… Suppose it is, Bulky. Then what? What do you _do_?"

Bane sighed. "I suppose I would keep moving," he said, forcing himself to play along with this ridiculous game. "After all, the police are still chasing me. I do not have time to stop and make a publicity statement."

Joker shook his head slowly. "No _creativity_, Bulky…. Wouldn't it be more fun to, ah… Throw a couple cameramen around? Beat the coppers down with television cameras? Hang them by their ties from the boom mics?"

"I suspect they wear clip-on ties," Bane responded, and the other man waved the remark away.

"Technicality, you can work around that! Come on, Bulky, show a little _enthusiasm!_"

"I would, if this weren't such a pointless exercise…."

"Ah. But it isn't. Look, Bulky, you're, ah…. You're _frustrated_, see? Did you _think_ about getting frustrated with me?" The clown played at the scars on the insides of his cheeks.

"No… It was an emotional response…"

"An _impulse_, Bulky. Call it what it is."

Bane blinked at him. "You knew this entire time that I would think this was pointless," he accused, but the Joker simply grinned at him.

"Maybe, ah… Maybe I did. Maybe not. That's the _point_ of the exercise."


	2. Chapter 2

Bane was laying in his bed, attempting to relax himself, after an exhausting day. He was tired, oh so tired, from his training, his usual duties, and attempting to look after the _Payaso_ as the other man recovered from his numerous injuries.

He had only just begun to relax when he felt the mattress shift.

"_Payaso?_ You should be resting…. Do you need something?"

"Ah…. _No_, Bulky…. Just….. Just an _impulse_."

"Do your impulses often lead you to another man's bed?" He had asked the question before he had a chance to stop himself, and he heard the Joker chuckling at him.

"You know, Bulky…. _No_. They, ah…. They usually _don't._" Still, Bane felt the other man lay down next to him, felt the lanky body curl up against his own. "Christ, you're _warm_… How…. _How_ did you get so _warm_, Bulky?"

The other man was shivering, Bane realized suddenly, and dripping sweat…. He was feverish. One of his wounds was likely infected. The larger man exhaled heavily through his nose and wrapped an arm around the clown, pulling him in as close as he dared. "You are cold, _Payaso?_"

"_Yeah_…. Yeah, I'm _cold_, Bulky…. So cold…." Something that almost sounded like a whimper escaped the other man's throat, and Bane felt a sudden, inexplicable twinge of pity.

"I…. Here, _Payaso_…" He shifted the man away long enough to pull back the blankets, sliding them overtop of both of them and letting the other curl in close again.

"That's, ah… That's nice. _Thanks_." The smaller form shifted, curling in tight against him, and Bane wrapped his arm more securely around him, letting him get as comfortable as he possibly could. "I…. Just, ah…. _Don't_ let me _go_, okay? I…. You're _warm_…."

"I know, _Payaso_. I won't let you go. You have my word." He felt the smaller form shift against him again, and then….

It was a soft sensation at his neck, barely noticeable…. But it was there nonetheless. And it wasn't going away. There was a soft rush of air against his flesh as the clown let out a short laugh, a cry of pain mingled with amusement.

"Well… Well Bulky…. Do you, ah…. Are you still so _sure_ you want me _here_?"

Bane simply shrugged his big shoulders. "Rest, _Payaso._ You cannot be expected to heal properly if you over-exert yourself…."

"I… Ha… _Yeah_. You're _right_, Bulky. I just… It was…. _Impulse_." The man's voice was growing fainter, and Bane glanced down to see his eyes closing. "Mmm…. I could… I could almost _fall asleep_…. Right _here_, Bulky…. Is… Is that _okay_?"

The big man nodded. "Go ahead, _Payaso._ Rest. I will be here when you wake."

"_Thanks_, Bulky." Bane felt lips brush against his neck once more, and he closed his eyes as well. Perhaps these impulses weren't so very bad after all—he could definitely get used to staying here like this, with the other man curled up against him. Somehow, it made him feel safe.


End file.
